What makes you happy? What is your absolute realtionship breaker and why? Why do you stay when all the signs say leave? Why do we fall in love with someone's potential instead of the person we are presented with?
I would love to hear your thoughts to get this blog jumpstarted....
My perspective: I used to be stuck to certain prototype of man. A certain height, a certain complexion but as I get older. I have learn it doesn't matter how a man looks but rather about the qualities he possess. I am happy with a man that is kind and considerate. Of course I love a man with a rough edge but he has to still have an open mind to experience new things and expand his horizons. I want a man who isnt afraid to profess his love for me, protects and provides for me.
Relationship breakers for me are: (1) blatant liars because that is a sign of blatant disrespect and then (2) no progression, we can not be dating and there is no progress. I don't have time to waste nor do I have time to love you beyond your nonsense.
When it comes to falling in love with a person's potential and not leave when you know and feel you should is because you (we) believe that we can change a person instead of accepting who they are. Why not leave him as they are and clear the space for someone who is worth it?
I would love to hear your thoughts to get this blog jumpstarted....
My perspective: I used to be stuck to certain prototype of man. A certain height, a certain complexion but as I get older. I have learn it doesn't matter how a man looks but rather about the qualities he possess. I am happy with a man that is kind and considerate. Of course I love a man with a rough edge but he has to still have an open mind to experience new things and expand his horizons. I want a man who isnt afraid to profess his love for me, protects and provides for me.
Relationship breakers for me are: (1) blatant liars because that is a sign of blatant disrespect and then (2) no progression, we can not be dating and there is no progress. I don't have time to waste nor do I have time to love you beyond your nonsense.
When it comes to falling in love with a person's potential and not leave when you know and feel you should is because you (we) believe that we can change a person instead of accepting who they are. Why not leave him as they are and clear the space for someone who is worth it?
You ask all the right questions, that gets us(women) to re-evaluate our own relationships. I wish I could answer: Why do we really stay, when we know it would be best to leave????
ReplyDeleteChurch on falling in love with a person's potential. I was with someone for 5 years because of his potential and he's still hasn't changed since we've been broken up.
ReplyDeleteBeing a good wife and mother makes me happy beyond words. God has truly blessed me; career, marriage, family and friends which I call my inner circle. Now lets be clear, My Story had some storms, tests and heartache. Why do women choose to stay with a man in a dead relationship? For a lot of reasons security, love, status and money. Some figure why not chill with him and put up with the BS in the Meantime? You know until you bump into the Love of your Life. My Deal Breaker: Lairs & Cheaters
ReplyDeleteIf there is no Trust, there is no Us.
I personally stayed in a 7 yr. relationsip that should have probably ended after the first 3 yrs. for a number of reasons:
ReplyDelete1. At that time I thought that there wasn't a better man out there for me.
2. I believed he would change for the better.
3. There was a level of comfort and security that he offered that I would not ALLOW myself to find with another man.
I have now learned that often times a high level of complacency develops when your in a long term relationship. And often times we feel if "I could change just this one thing" or "Maybe if I overlook this" things will suddenly become better. In retrospect, I am glad that I was in that relationship because it taught me my worth as a woman and to not accept the faults and flaws I am unwilling to deal with. I accept a man with the baggage/flaws I am able to handle. Otherwise, I let it go early on.
I agree....the truth I can handle and we can discuss the matter at hand. However, with a LIE there is nothing to discuss. When a person lies they do not give the other person a chance to make a decision. In relationships, we can only manage the process of growth therefore we can not manage each other. You definitely can not change anyone. Acceptance is the key. It is better to bend then to break.... :)
ReplyDeleteClap clap @ "falling in love with a person's potential". Why do we go through this!? I guess it's the same process we go through when we see a piece of clothing that looks kinda lame, or mediocre at best, but you think you could really hook it up and make it fly with the right accessories and attitude.
ReplyDeleteExcept with a man, you cannot hook him up past a certain limit. I don't think you CAN'T change a person at all, like many people argue. You can definitely influence a person to grow and change, because the nature of humans is to influence one another. None of us would be who we are were in not for change and development as a result of others' thoughts, needs, actions, etc.
I think the problem, in terms of this discussion, is whether or how much you can change a person who doesn't actually WANT to change. Maybe we as women see a potential in men that they don't even see themselves. Think about it. If they had the same impression of their ability, wouldn't they already be on the path to that? If they cannot see this potential, and we try to point it out to them, maybe this is when they begin to think we want them to be someone they aren't. And we all know how that argument ends...