Confessions of a Loveaholic...

Wanted By: Travis Montez this is not a list as much as it is a prayer a test of faith a letter in a bottle a request if you will see i have waited for hoped for never believed in but still asked for but then settled for and sabotaged i have been careless with my heart all these many, many years and even though my heart is strong and forgiving willing even to fall and break and heal and get back up my heart these days is seeking only a place to love be honest and smart be funny have passion and joy want kids care about people and the world laugh from the inside out touch me because you can't help yourself be undeniably unavoidably thankfully attracted to me see me stand up to and for me know that i would much rather be in your arms than on any pedestal be afraid of commitment or intimacy and still commit and be intimate because you can't imagine a life not close to me a life without what you know we could build cook and let me take care of the dishes lets have quiet...

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It never ceases to amaze me when I compare notes with other women, man’s lack of understanding that we are just not interested in them. Whether it’s following up after a break-up, a bad date or a bad conversation, men just don’t seem to get it. And yes, gentlemen readers who read my blog, I realize women can be just as bad, but I don’t give a shit. I’m writing from MY perspective, which is that of a woman who has dealt with a men who just don’t seem to understand what the following means: If you send 25 text messages in a 2 hour period and receive no reply – it means I do not want to talk to you. This should not be too hard for you to understand. The same goes for emails or phone calls – if you have no response from me, it does NOT mean that I want you to continue to call or email me. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. All your incessant attempts at contact will do is provide me with more material for my blog and reinforce my belief that my decision was sooo the right one and good riddance! ...

vs. Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans. Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits in. Girls want to control the man in their life. Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling. Girls check you for not calling them. Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't. Girls try to put a man 'on lock' by using sex. Grown women know that it's the sex of the mental kind that makes a man want to 'lock' you down. Girls fake-moan, lay there and take the stabbing. Grown women say, "Just stop", get up, get dressed and walk it out. Girls are afraid to be alone. Grown women revel in it-- using it as a time for personal growth. Girls ignore the good guys. Grown women ignore the bad guys. Girls make you come home. Grown women make you want to be home. Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man. G...

Have you ever had someone in your life that you have wanted to conquer? Someone you trust but you don't know why? Someone who understands and knows you without ever having to speak a word? Someone who just fits? What do you do with them? Out of fear do you keep your distance? Or do you clear out your world to make space for them?  LI is that type of man and I am unsure on how to proceed with him. Due to his recent breakup with his girlfriend, I know I must give him space to heal or I will be the "rebound chick". He is oddly intriguing because he surprises me with how well he knows me. He will complete my sentence or when we are together he will kiss my forehead and I melt. As the warning signs flash brightly, cautioning the slippery slope ahead, I love the feeling. I often daydream of what it would be like to be exclusive with LI. To make him mine, to be his forever.... These feelings are the scariest because I do not know where they come from nor do I know how to con...

As I walked into the Apple Store tonight I was overcome by the lights, the choices and of course the buzzing of the store. As I looked at everything, I got sooooooo excited and then it hit me like a ton of bricks…. This is exactly why men cheat! Although I have a trusty Gateway laptop, a Dell mini and access to a new Dell desktop, all I could do was think and scheme on how I was going to get a Mac in my life and most of all into my home. How did I connect the two right? Simple…. The Gateway is my GIRLFRIEND of 2 years. Reliable, knows my favorites, gives me comfort, holds all my memories, my passwords, my music, and although we have had one rough patch (crash), she survived and picked up right where we left off. So because I started school, I was able to justify the need for the Dell mini. The mini could be the CHICK I AM TALKING TO. The mini, has no memories, no documents, nothing much to offer. The mini gets taken to out (school) every now again to help me through class. Pure enter...

Would you rather….. 1. Have eyes that always smile or a voice that makes people calm? I would say a calming voice. I would love to be the person that can speak calm into someone. Wow but imagine a sultry that same voice could be in the bedroom... owwwww 2. Have an affair and your partner catches you or your partner have an affair and you catch him/her? Well the problem to this scenario is I would have to have a partner. LOL... but I think since I have been on the other side before, I would rather be caught. It must feel better than being the one who is doing the catching. 3. Have better sex or more money?  Better sex sounds fun to me. Money can only really get you so far. but then again, depending on how much money... i could buy better sex...LOL 4. Be able to read everyone’s mind all the time or always know the future? Although, there are tooooooooo many perverts in the NYC for me to want to read everyone's mind... I think it would be funny to hear people...

I love when I am at the airport, waiting for my bags to come around the conveyor belt. I always look at the other bags that circle around and wonder which ones are filled with old clothes, new clothes, maybe some trinkets or maybe just filled with vibrators, gag balls and whips. When it comes to relationships, do we look at partners and wonder about the things we don't see. What baggage do they carry? What does it look like? Where does it come from?   With this is in mind, I wonder when we walk the streets of our city do we look at our potential mates the same way. Do we look at others wondering what they hold inside? What baggage will they bring into a relationship? Don't we all wish we had like x-ray relationship goggles so we could see into a person before dating them? See what the person wants, their motives, their intentions and of course their baggage. As I mature, I am becoming more aware of my baggage. Mr. Vegas and I are getting closer and as you all know we sp...

Would you rather….. 1.A relaxing vacation or an adventurous trip? I would love to go on a relaxing island vacation. Days filled with blue water, white sand, umbrella drinks and bathing suits. Nights filled with good food, good company and good sex in a villa under the moonlight... I better stop before my dreams get the best of me... 2. Get a perfect nights sleep or have amazing sex? AMAZING SEX x2, please!!! I will sleep when I am dead...Especially since I am learning how to master the joy of multiple orgasms. 3. Be intimate with the lights on or off? Lights off with sexy music in the background... playing games with body parts or just kissing and heavy petting...it makes it that much more intimate/passionate. 4. Your partner is a terrible kisser who could always make you orgasm or an amazing kisser who could never make you orgasm? I can make myself orgasm but I can not kiss myself sooooooo I would say, amazing kisser!!! Kissing makes me feel good alllllllllll over......

I apologize for neglecting you but I had to do some field work so we can have something to talk about… For the last couple of weeks Mr. Vegas has been monopolizing my time and body, until this weekend… Yes, Yes, Yes… there is a new character around. His name is LI and his sole on this earth is to "sweetmouth" me, especially from the back and I absolutely love it (we will come back to that)!!!! Where shall I start... ummm, Saturday was simply amazing. Vegas made up for his sleeping spell in tenfold *winking*. We were at his house, in his bedroom, Trey playing in the background… he started rubbing my face, looking into my eyes then he started kissing my neck and I melted like ice cream in his hands to say the least. He used his fingers like he was playing a piano, it felt so good. As we engaged in a passionate session, my dear Vegas took it one step further… he introduced a little magic wand that evoked spasms and warm feelings from all over. Mr. Vegas and the Pocket Rocke...

As some readers requested, here are some facts about female orgasms.  Enjoy!!!   Myths Regarding Female Orgasms There are several myths regarding orgasm. These myths can sometimes cause problems for women and their partners. Myth: An orgasm is always an earth-moving experience and there is something wrong with a woman if she is unable to reach orgasm. Fact: Some women have orgasms and don’t know it. Some women do not experience orgasm in the sense of feeling their pelvic floor muscles contract. They do however reach a peak of arousal after which they feel very relaxed and contented, the same feelings other women experience after orgasm. By contrast, women who get very aroused and do not experience orgasm will sometimes feel "nervous" or "edgy" or even an aching discomfort in their pelvis. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Myth: "Normal" women reach orgasm through intercourse. Fact: Only ab...

After a long hard day at work, I wanted to take a hot shower, sip some Moscato, listen to some soft music, get a warm baby oil massage and color (from my Sex & the City ladies) the night away…. But instead what do I get? Snores. That's right, I said snores. Here I am naked as the day I was born, kissing on him, nibbling on his ear, gently stroking the penis and NOTHING but some slight moans and some drool. I am livid! I wanted to do the reverse cowgirl and wheelbarrow tonight, I wanted to show him what Kegels really do….DAMMIT!!! I'm hot and bothered. Before you even asked, I tried to rouse him with my warm breath on his balls, kissing the head, tried gently stroking my fingers up and down the insides of his legs, whispering x-rated things in his ears. NOTHING WORKED… Although his penis was hard and yes, I could have put a condom on, orgasmed and went to sleep; I need interaction in order to engage in intercourse.  I need to know that you are just as excited as I am t...

Mr. Vegas, Mr. Vegas, Mr. Vegas! Mr. Vegas has all my attention these days. He calls often, says all the right things, visits, spends the night, likes to go on dates and calls me "baby". He is so cool to be around but of course I run into the issue I always do: How to play it cool (whatever that may be) and not become the "clingy girl". I am okay with my feelings being known but I do not want them to be overwhelming that he takes off running. So we were on the phone earlier having this deep conversation about me going out with some friends but of course it turned into a hypothetical situation… Vegas: Out with who? Me: Girls from high school Vegas: Ok. Just let me know what time. Me: Ok. Why did you ask about who I was going with… Worried it was a man (laughing) Vegas: Never. If it was a man, I wouldn't care. I came to pick you up and that's that. Off course me being Michelle, I wanted to explore the "I wouldn't care" comment. We are...

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing? Singly Crushing 2) Are you happy with where you are? I am currently with me and I am very happy.... 3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast? I always fall in love with the potential of the person before I really get to know them. I then get to know them better and dont like them. 4) Have you ever had your heart broken? Yes, twice. You live and you learn. 5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok? Emotional cheating is hard to avoid. But physical cheating is unacceptable in my world. 6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? I have, but because I couldnt get over it or beyond it. So I had to re-live it often and that wasnt fair to either party. 7) Have you talked about marriage with another person? Yes I have. I was engaged. Marriage was all I could see that I lost sight of him and myself. 8) Do you want children? Sure do. 9) How many? I think two would be good....