Confessions of a Loveaholic...

I guess its like a bad habit. Like smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol. you sneak and try it. you like how it feels. you like what it does to you. you get hooked. you are willing to risk everything to do it again (standing in the cold, no sleep, etc) you then try to find a way to hide this "craving" from family and friends. everyone advises you against it. you then find ways to justify what you know will at the end of the day hurt you badly and eventually kill you. Love much like drugs, the worst it will hurt the more we want...all in hopes to get that "first high" feeling.... AGAIN...it will never be as good as your "first love" but it could be better if you nuture it will bud into a love you WANT and NEED     According to livescience.com, among the reasons for addiction: •Innate human defiance. •Need for social acceptance. •Inability to truly understand the nature of risk. •Individualistic view of the world and the abili...

On this journey of love, we have done the dead-end sexual conquests, the songs that are on my "Soundtrack of Sad" and here I am at 1:10am still trying to figure out why my heart has remained empty although my call log and bed hasn't. It's as though I can not get "unstuck" from my past and have become to scared to move beyond the nonsense. I listen to the words of J. Hudson (We Goin' Fight), Ashanti (Movies) and Beyonce (Scared of Lonely) and I wonder am I fighting for something that is not worth holding on to because I am scared to be alone. Scared of knowing that my heart's best interest does not lie with the man that snores next to me, yet am I  more afraid of dating myself and most of all of moving on. I turn over and I look at him in his peaceful slumber and I wonder: W hy you can't love me enough not to cheat?  Why ain't my heart strong enough not to leave? Why do I stay knowing all that you do? Why am I so much in love with you? He pl...

From the beginning, I guess I have always been a hopeless romantic, who has loved red roses, white horses and the strapping man that would spend his forever with me. The young girl who watched all romantic movies with hope that one day I too would find my leading man and live happily ever after. So now at age 27, unmarried, childless, and not a relationship in sight, I guess my dream has yet to fulfill itself and with 30 knocking at the door, it is hard not to begin to wonder where the problem actually lies. Is it the men I date or is it me? What do I put out there that just isn't attracting the marriage, family type? Will I ever marry a good man with good credit, and have his childrren? With my heart desiring these things so much I wonder if I project that and that in fact scares men off.... (men feel free to comment here). So being that I can only talk about me and my perspective: I am a serial relationshipper, I am loyal to my relationships for the most part (depends on y...

For 2010, when it comes to love, I do vow to be open-minded, positive and keep my baggage in check. I send out prayers and wishes to only have encounters with men who add to me and those who can make me better. What I can say for sure, is in 2010 I will stay away from: broke-ass negros, gang members, fake Nicki Minaj's skinny jean wearers, posers, fakes, bad aggressive/violent attitudes, gold fronts/any fronts, pants hanging so low I can see your boxers,chain so low it touches my dick wearers, Gucci Mane/Jay-Z/Kanye/Trey/Drake wannabes, all maybes and could have beens. Everyone can't be a rapper, a producer, or a clothing line star so I am staying away from them also. In 2010, I am allergic to all bullshit and I will not settle for less when I know I am one of the best. There is no reason for resolutions, vow to be a better person daily. Dream Big, Love Hard, Laugh More, Forgive Quick. Nothing is promised but we have made it to 2010. Enjoy it and...

What makes you happy? What is your absolute realtionship breaker and why? Why do you stay when all the signs say leave? Why do we fall in love with someone's potential instead of the person we are presented with? I would love to hear your thoughts to get this blog jumpstarted.... My perspective: I used to be stuck to certain prototype of man. A certain height, a certain complexion but as I get older. I have learn it doesn't matter how a man looks but rather about the qualities he possess. I am happy with a man that is kind and considerate. Of course I love a man with a rough edge but he has to still have an open mind to experience new things and expand his horizons. I want a man who isnt afraid to profess his love for me, protects and provides for me. Relationship breakers for me are: (1) blatant liars because that is a sign of blatant disrespect and then (2) no progression, we can not be dating and there is no progress. I don't have time to waste nor do I hav...