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LI Dreaming…


Have you ever had someone in your life that you have wanted to conquer? Someone you trust but you don't know why? Someone who understands and knows you without ever having to speak a word? Someone who just fits? What do you do with them? Out of fear do you keep your distance? Or do you clear out your world to make space for them? 


LI is that type of man and I am unsure on how to proceed with him. Due to his recent breakup with his girlfriend, I know I must give him space to heal or I will be the "rebound chick". He is oddly intriguing because he surprises me with how well he knows me. He will complete my sentence or when we are together he will kiss my forehead and I melt. As the warning signs flash brightly, cautioning the slippery slope ahead, I love the feeling. I often daydream of what it would be like to be exclusive with LI. To make him mine, to be his forever.... These feelings are the scariest because I do not know where they come from nor do I know how to control them. There is an element that he possesses that is beyond sexual stimulation, it is the mental masturbation that I desire and most men lack.... It is the outercourse before we even touch, undress, or share love juices. Its deep. Its mental. Its everything I never had and always wanted. He is all I never needed.

I am in a place where I am not "searching" anymore. I refuse to hunt, search or coerce someone into a relationship. I am going along with the flow because I am secure enough to know that good love will come because good love is what I give. Although I am not giving any one person "my all", I am sending out good vibes in hopes that he will feel it and come to me. With men like Mr. Vegas and LI, they need to be in control, they need to set the pace and they need to make a choice about being in a relationship or not. Mr. Vegas has become sporadic with his calls and has not followed through on his words or visits… I do get the "miss you" texts every now and again but no follow-thru, so I am stuck… LI gives me attention I need but I think it is because his girl isn't around and Mr. Vegas has faded into the background. What do I do? I have begun to allow work and school to become my primary focus, leaving little room for romancing with either man. How long will this continue? Is it healthy?

After it all... What will happen?
To be continued.....
  
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Comments

  1. CERRONJanuary 25, 2010 at 7:28 AM

    DONT RUSH INTO ANYTHING this is the problem with relationships people rush in then crash hard good sex converstion is good but a relationship takes time to become great communcation understanding and they have to be on somw what the same thinkinking level etc weigh ur options and choose whats best for u but take ur time with who ever u deal with no before u jump in. Dont forget new toys r fun to play with until they become old toys u want the new toy that keeps upgrading that way it stays new

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