Here’s what I don’t understand. A man is interested in a woman. Yet he does everything he can, so it seems, to push her away, piss her off or avoid taking the chance of a relationship, but he still expects her to jump at his beckon call when he decides he’s horny or none of his buddies want to go drinking.
WHAT?!
What the hell is wrong with you guys? How would YOU feel if someone never talked to you or stayed in touch and then said, “Hey – why don’t you come over tomorrow and spend the night and we’ll get naked.” Or “Hey – I’m horny – what can you do about that?”
Ok – wait – I forgot, I’m talking about men. You guys don’t care; if it’s a chance at pussy, you’ll take it. Well, allow me to explain why chicks who have any bit of self-respect will be turning you down.
We require attention. I don’t mean 100 texts an hour attention, but you need to stay in touch with us if you so desire access to the pussy. Save your excuses. I don’t care if you’re stressed, working, watching a child, at a concert, skiing in Aspen or shoveling your driveway – make the fucking time. I work 12 to 14 hour days. I work so much it takes me two weeks to get to the grocery store because I just can’t bring myself to stop and buy food. But you know what? In between saving children from themselves, meeting with idiots who swear that they know more because they are supervisors, working on my Masters, and trying to figure out my "next steps" in life, I still manage to text the people who are important to me. Do you know why? BECAUSE THEY ARE IMPORTANT TO ME.
If a woman doesn’t feel like she’s an important component of your life, and FYI, not texting/emailing/calling for weeks on end pretty much tells her she’s not, then she’s not going to in turn, welcome you to her pussy for a good time. JUST ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN!!!
Now let’s say you are good at texting regularly. Congratulations. You’re halfway there. If you 90% of your texts are asking for ass, you’re out. If 90% of your texts are drunk texts, you’re out. It’s not enough to pay attention to us, it’s paying PROPER attention to us. It’s asking us how our day is, how our family is, how our stubbed toe is. As much as we love fucking you, we’d love knowing that you’re interested in all of us and not just our mouths and pussies.
So let’s say not only are you good at texting, but you’re also good at paying attention to all the components of our life, not just our orifices. You’re almost there! The clincher? GOING OUT WITH US. Having a sleepover twice a month is not going out with us. Stopping at our house for two hours, during which you eat, watch tv, fuck us and take a bottle of water, is not going out with us. We like to go out – it doesn’t mean we need to be wined and dined, but we want to go out. In public. Where people will see us together.
We want you to be proud to go out with us and not hide the fact that you just want to fuck us. Why are you hiding us from your ex-girlfriend or friends or family? We want you to spend the night with us after you fuck us – which needs to last more than 15 minutes by the way. We want you to kiss us and touch us in the bar, to make sure everyone knows we’re there together, and we want you to kiss us as you fuck us and hold us after you fuck us. Hell and if we don't have sex we STILL should feel sexy and special enough to be held ALL NIGHT LONG. We’d also like to have nights in with you – make some dinner, watch some TV and fall asleep together. Save your excuses – you have kids, work in different towns, get up at different times, blah blah blah. We want to spend the night with you, moron. It tells us you LIKE having us with you for more than a four hour period, that you’re not ashamed for the neighbors to see someone has spent the night, etc….
Oh – and if you love us, TELL US. What are you afraid of? Please spare me the “I’ve been hurt before,” “It’s too soon after my last relationship ended,” “I just want to have fun” bullshit. What are you waiting for? Suck it up – relationships start and end all the time. Man up and grab life by the balls and if you’re in love with a woman, tell her, show her, make passionate love to her, appreciate her and enjoy life with her – maybe some of the stress and bullshit in your life will be alleviated because you finally have something positive in your life.
Is any of this sinking in? By all means, ladies, chime in if I’ve gotten any of this wrong. I don’t know why this is so hard for men to understand.
WHAT?!
What the hell is wrong with you guys? How would YOU feel if someone never talked to you or stayed in touch and then said, “Hey – why don’t you come over tomorrow and spend the night and we’ll get naked.” Or “Hey – I’m horny – what can you do about that?”
Ok – wait – I forgot, I’m talking about men. You guys don’t care; if it’s a chance at pussy, you’ll take it. Well, allow me to explain why chicks who have any bit of self-respect will be turning you down.
We require attention. I don’t mean 100 texts an hour attention, but you need to stay in touch with us if you so desire access to the pussy. Save your excuses. I don’t care if you’re stressed, working, watching a child, at a concert, skiing in Aspen or shoveling your driveway – make the fucking time. I work 12 to 14 hour days. I work so much it takes me two weeks to get to the grocery store because I just can’t bring myself to stop and buy food. But you know what? In between saving children from themselves, meeting with idiots who swear that they know more because they are supervisors, working on my Masters, and trying to figure out my "next steps" in life, I still manage to text the people who are important to me. Do you know why? BECAUSE THEY ARE IMPORTANT TO ME.
If a woman doesn’t feel like she’s an important component of your life, and FYI, not texting/emailing/calling for weeks on end pretty much tells her she’s not, then she’s not going to in turn, welcome you to her pussy for a good time. JUST ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN!!!
Now let’s say you are good at texting regularly. Congratulations. You’re halfway there. If you 90% of your texts are asking for ass, you’re out. If 90% of your texts are drunk texts, you’re out. It’s not enough to pay attention to us, it’s paying PROPER attention to us. It’s asking us how our day is, how our family is, how our stubbed toe is. As much as we love fucking you, we’d love knowing that you’re interested in all of us and not just our mouths and pussies.
So let’s say not only are you good at texting, but you’re also good at paying attention to all the components of our life, not just our orifices. You’re almost there! The clincher? GOING OUT WITH US. Having a sleepover twice a month is not going out with us. Stopping at our house for two hours, during which you eat, watch tv, fuck us and take a bottle of water, is not going out with us. We like to go out – it doesn’t mean we need to be wined and dined, but we want to go out. In public. Where people will see us together.
We want you to be proud to go out with us and not hide the fact that you just want to fuck us. Why are you hiding us from your ex-girlfriend or friends or family? We want you to spend the night with us after you fuck us – which needs to last more than 15 minutes by the way. We want you to kiss us and touch us in the bar, to make sure everyone knows we’re there together, and we want you to kiss us as you fuck us and hold us after you fuck us. Hell and if we don't have sex we STILL should feel sexy and special enough to be held ALL NIGHT LONG. We’d also like to have nights in with you – make some dinner, watch some TV and fall asleep together. Save your excuses – you have kids, work in different towns, get up at different times, blah blah blah. We want to spend the night with you, moron. It tells us you LIKE having us with you for more than a four hour period, that you’re not ashamed for the neighbors to see someone has spent the night, etc….
Oh – and if you love us, TELL US. What are you afraid of? Please spare me the “I’ve been hurt before,” “It’s too soon after my last relationship ended,” “I just want to have fun” bullshit. What are you waiting for? Suck it up – relationships start and end all the time. Man up and grab life by the balls and if you’re in love with a woman, tell her, show her, make passionate love to her, appreciate her and enjoy life with her – maybe some of the stress and bullshit in your life will be alleviated because you finally have something positive in your life.
Is any of this sinking in? By all means, ladies, chime in if I’ve gotten any of this wrong. I don’t know why this is so hard for men to understand.
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